Whininess..

My best friend left this am to move to south Florida..:( broke my heart. I will miss my Smiths <3 went by there yesterday afternoon to say goodbye and that was no fun when my girl kensley (4 yrs old) comes running out screaming MRS DANA!! And then starts crying bc she thinks she won't see you again..*sigh* we did show her how to FaceTime on her moms phone so when she gets sad she can call. We are scheduled to follow in march or there bouts. Just sucks when the one person you tell everything to and trusts moves. Bah. Okay moving on...I Will miss them just for a few months <3 then we too will e south Florida residents and the clan will be back! If you're a married couple you understand how hard it is to find a couple where you have a best friend AND your husband does too..lol ok back to family project day..replaced parts on the grill...stained a new bench...onward <3 oh and tiny FYI I am about to start my FOUrTH term of school :D awesome.sauce.

I'll love you for a thousand more...

Ahh one of those days. Those days where you feel like crying, but dont have time becasue frankly, you have too much to do. This.Is.That.Day. 1-had a WONDERFUL time seeing my girl Wendy and her fiancee Brandon. They are such positive, fun people to be around. i am SO excited for their wedding next month!!!! :D It is going to be such a fun time! We went to the Shrimp Festival and had a blast..ate BBQ nachos, shrimp, lotsa lemonade and spent some $$..the usual..lol its alot of fun though. On to the stressors..Im flailing around with this paper im trying to write (took a break to vent on here hoping it will help clear my head) Its a very personal paper, my instructor keeps adding to my thesis, so i am MADLY confused at this point. Madly. So Im just going to wing it and let it go...Also, when we returned home the other night a super skinny doggy was in our yard. Hes a cutie. His ribs were showing. UNacceptable! We fed him, watered him, and pulled out the Kennel. So tonight will be night THREE he has been here..trying to find him a foster. And as of today, I HAVE! Ridges dog trainer, Deneen, will get him, but not until Monday. *sigh* it is REALLY time consuming to take care of a dog who doesnt know you nor trust you at ALL. He likes us, he loves sleeping not outside..lol but hes happy and taken care of right now. Good karma points I suppose, but i dont havethe heart to leave him out or toss him out on his booty. Thats wrong. So another 2 nights and one day and he will be off. I know he will be taken care of, so THAT makes me know Im doing the right thing. Also, *drumroll* I feel guilty. My friend (and bridesmaid) Jennifer had her tiny little son the other day. He is amazingly beautiful. When she called and sent us a pic though, i was mad. like really MAD. I dont get it. I kinda do. I told Jim to just give me five minutes to hate her and id be ok. Im aware of how that sounds. I am. And i love Jenn. SHes going to be an amazing momma. But im allowed to be pissed. A few minutes later, i was fine. I call that progress. Really. To top all this hellacious week off, my laptop (that has all my Thirty One stuff AND school stuff on it) keeps going dead. Saying it has issues. Freezing. BLAH! So im a bit bitchy and emotional today. I cant afford to get attached to Ares (the pup!) which im good with since i know where hes going. My laptop=more $$..I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow morning in Mobile (and i ALWAYS get lost in Mobile). So there. That was my vent. Hopefully it unclogged my noggin enough to where I can form sentences for this paper due in 4 hours. Wish me luck....

Thats the pup Im fostering this weekend :)

Hello, Ive waited here for you..

Life is awesome. That is all...<3 I am super duper lucky girl..Today has been jam packed with yard work and school..so this is my mini entry just to say hellloooo and Life is good. Hope everyone elses is too..:D

IIIIIIIIIIII'm hooked on a feelinnnnn....

So Im halfway through my THIRD term of school as a junior college student (again) and this class im taking I have to write a FIFTEEN page paper on something Im passionate about. Easy. RIght? No way. I chose Infertility and Endometriosis obviously as Im a bit of an EXPERT at this point..but in writing it and reading all these articles it is SAD how many women are MISdiagnosed for an average of SEVEN years. I am astounded. Thinking back on myself, my first doctors appt for the 'death pain' was when I was 17..I was diagnosed with 'maybe' endo at 19...and full blown OMG kill me now stage IV endo at age 25 follwed by a hysterectomy at age 28. So my timeline was six years. Six years that could and should have been spent preserving my fertility. But bygones are bygones and there is nothing I can do about it now. One of the comments on a discussion board i wrote a couple weeks ago was something to the effect of 'well its been this many years, why is it such a strong issue still?' um..well..I can never be a mom. It gets old saying that and dear readers youre probably tired of hearing it, but I live with it everyday. Some days more than others, so suck it (today more probably because my awesome hard working amazing husband is at work for his EIGHT 12 hr shift and im tired of sleeping by myself damnit). This is the only place I can whine about it and feel ok about it so whine I will..Today has just been one of those days and writing this paper is (though probably good for the soul) very hurtful some days bringing all this to the surface. Alas..for four more weeks I will write this paper, I will get mad, then sad, then smile and carry one, because well..thats what I do. All women do. With me, its lack of child bearing, for some its they have sick children, dying grandmas, cheating husbands, abusive relationships (been there)..we all have our little red wagon as my grandpa would have said. Some are bigger than others, but we all have em. Mine sucks. But its mine. So I will pull it until I can replace it with a baby carriage. And I will. Someday. Not this year. Maybe not next year. But one year. I will hear that word that I want to hear. Three letters that many take for granted. But I wont. Ill appreciate mine more than most. And lord knows I have the BEST teacher in the world...my own mom. So Ill keep pulling my wagon. It was given to me after all. Whats it they say? You wont be given more than you can handle. I.Am.Super.Woman. And she needs her sleep. so im off..goodnight world..