Sorry for party rockin'...

Two days without pain meds...until today..meh. Dr cleared me to do what I felt like doing but me, in usual fashion, overdid. Laundry, dishes, bought groceries...by the time I got home with them I was pale and sweating...and my side was killing me. So bottle of water and Percocet later, I snuggled in the bed with my Jim and all was well in the world <3 I hate Jim's long weeks. He's working four nights in a row and it sucks. Sleeping without your husband is something I don't recommend. Don't get me wrong , I'm super thankful to have a hard working man but some nights are lonelier than others and tonight's that night so allow me to whine k? :) on other notes, Florida..summer and her husband are moving to Melbourne (bout 20 min away from Orlando) next month and Jim and I will follow in the next few months. Excitement! There are some gorgeous houses we've been looking at down there. Gorrrgeous!! So more to come on that. :D however right now I'm lonely and tired and don't feel good still so I'm going to snuggle up to my little Dixie dog and were going to sleep to the sound of a 100lb golden retriever snoring until Jim gets home..6 more hours.....sweet dreams...

It started with a whissspppperrrr...

Sooo I've been Mia for a couple days. I had my gallbladder taken out Thursday. Ouch. The surgery itself wasn't bad but they also repaired a hernia while they were in there and that Is super omg sore. Stitches in your abdomen are never good lol. So I've been in a Percocet haze since then. Ate solid food today for the first time, yay!! Grilled chicken and Mac n cheese has never been so good. :) the greatest thing ever? Having a nurse as a husband. He's taken such good care of me. Pain medicine has always kicked my ass so all I've done is sleep..get up and pee...sleep...haha Percocet gives me nightmares thoug. Apparently I keep jerking my self awake. Oh we'll. the soreness is slowly getting better, I got to shower today and take bandages off tomorrow. So carrying on :) glad it's over, thankful for the happy thoughts, and probably about to fall asleep again. The move to Florida is getting closer and closer I can feel excitement setting in! We were originally going to Vegas again for New Years but moving expenses are a beast soooo think we will just move with it and go to Disney world even more! THAT is exciting. Living 20 minutes from Disney?!? Um yea. Anyway I'm off, I feel myself sinking lol how everyone is having a fantastic day sorry I don't have an great inner thoughts to share ;)

We're gonna fly away from here....

So random, but everytime I watch the Blind Side, I bawl. lordy..I cant help it..ANYWAY! Four days until my gall bladder gets ganked out. I am uber excited about this prospect but nervous. Seven surgeries. At my age, thats alot. But alas, I will feel better afterwards I hope because right now it SUCKS so much. I feel like Im having a heart attack every day pretty much along with constant nausea. F that. As for school, its going good..Im a JUNIOR college student for the second time in my life. Its interesting. And fun. And hard as hell. I have to write a 15 page Research Paper on something that is dear to me. So yea. You guessed it. Infertility. Im realizing how hard its going to be to write about. My professor approved my thesis with this note: "Mrs Graves, you broke my heart. I read your thesis and cried. As many, I know not much of infertility but look forward to a better understanding through you". Yep. Now I feel pressure to write an amazing paper. LOL. The word itself hurts to write. And unless youve been here, you wont understand, but I hope and pray someone learns from my research paper. We shall see..its been weighing heavily on me lately as yet another friend came out of the 'Im pregnant' closet. *sigh* Youd think itd get easier. Whatever, just one of those days I guess.

MOVING ON! The planned move...we will soon (within 6ish months) be resident of FLORIDA! This makes me happy. I am so ready. A brand new start is ALWAYS healthy. Not that i have anything bad to leave here. I love the Gulf. All my baggage was left in Troy and surrounding areas..lol I will miss my beaches here but Florida beaches are good too.. And having my best friend as my neighbor still? definite plus. Summer has been my rock since my wedding day last year. Looking at homes on an island down there right now, which is SUPER exciting! and a pool is a MUST! :) so big house..pool..fenced yard..epic bathroom with massive tub? Cant be TOO hard to find..ha. Dread the move itself tho..we have soooooo much stuff! an suv, car, truck, boat, 2 dogs, and a house FULL!Totally worth it though..So we are excited..more to come on that. SPECIALLY after I graduate next year. Lets just say the starting salary for my degree is nothing to scoff at..LOL nothing truly new besides that...I need to hit the bed, but its so hard to sleep nights when Jim is working..:( I miss my hot husband...;) not a bad thing..ha So anyway..rambling nonsense..time to drink half a bottle of pepto and take a sleeping pill..oh the excitement...Goodnight moon...

I'm Just a Girl...

I'm not good at being mad. Never have been. Im just not an angry person. So it is horribly hard for me to tell someone i am mad or upset with them. Anyone have this issue? I had to tell an old friend how angry I was today and though it was hard it was the right thing to do. Holding anger in is not good for your health Im sure..lol...so, How was MY day?? hm. Today i almost deleted my blog. ALMOST. Every one I have given this blog address to has been told implicitly how personal it is and how rare I give it out. Everyone knows this. Well today it was given to people who are not my friends, who are negative, and this blog is NOT for negativity. So yea, after my personal blog (yes its on the 'internet and anything on the internet isnt private') yet my settings mean MY blog cant be searched for mind you so you MUST have the address, was outed today, I was angry. Hurt. Disappointed. I was left a VERY negative comment on a post from earlier, and I did rebuttal. As I should have. I thought about deleting it, but then I remembered how helpful this little spot is. How my friends send me encouraging messages when I need it. How I received an email from someone I have never met that is going through the same things I am. How I was told I was an inspiration for telling it like it is with infertility and life in general. So no. I will not delete this blog.I do not BASH people on here. I never say names of people who do me wrong, but this is MY blog. MY words, and I will NOT censor it to make anyone feel better. THAT, my friends, would be wrong. So anyone with negativity?? GTFO. I dont have time for you and your snarky comments. If you couldnt stand up and say anything to my face when the situation was happening, then perhaps you should stay the coward you are and not send mean little messages. Because it says EVERYTHING about who YOU are and not me. I am Me. I am Happy. Loved. Secure. Wanted. A Wife. A mom to 2 furry babies. A Junior in college working on here SECOND bachelors (TAKE THAT!).A Daughter. and i LOVE MY LIFE. I do. Not many can say they are married to the most amazing man ever, but hey. I AM.

I wake up every morning knowing i am blessed. And im sorry some people will never know that because they are bitter, or jealous, or simply just...mean. I am 31 years old. Yet wise beyond my years. I have outgrown people. Things. Places. THIS is how much I am loved:

So yes. I have a wonderful family and friends, Not many close girlfriends really. I admit it. But those I keep close Id walk on coals for. My friend Summer is my rock. She knows everything about me and loves me anyway..lol So yea... drawn out post yes, but I felt the need to put it out there. Im happy, and NO ONE (specially not some *scuse my bluntness* skank who doesnt know me) can affect that, so massive fail im afraid. :)

that is the only one whose opinion matters when shit hits the fan. thats Summer...<3 my bestie. Shes always on my side no matter what. No drama. No using. Just there always. No secrets between us. And i love her for it. So OK!. This was my day, how was yalls? :) My blog isnt going anywhere. Not neva as jim says...I am Getting my gallbladder ganked out next week so say a little prayer please. I am ready, tired of hurting....Also Looking at homes in Florida. Jacksonville or Melbourne here we come! How Exciting.Long as we are near the beach we will be ok..lol

Its a shame others try to steal your sparkle, but dont let them..<3. Hope everyone has a FANTABULOUS weekend..(jessica i KNOW you will, girl you are like the happiest person i KNOW!) lol

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...

Tomrrow is FINALLY our adoption yard sale. FINALLY. I am SO very eager to get my house back. its as if this STUFF has completely taken over my home and I need it gone..and I need the money...and just..my usual life back. those who know me are fully aware I am a bit...um...OCD...and I dont dig clutter, so these past few weeks are killing me. Sadly, Jim has to work tonight so He wont be home until 730-8ish..so you guessed it..I have to set up all this alone. *sigh* Ive organized it (somewhat) in my living room so it will be easier when i awake at FIVE am to get moving. Bleh. I hope and pray that it all sells and we make some $$ though. Truly I do. And not only because I want my house back..our Adoption Savings need to GROW! <3 so send happy thoughts oh readers.. My neighbor up the street is having hers same day for the same reason..we thought wed kill two birds with one stone by doing the damn thing ya know..shes a personal trainer and knows everyone so hers kinda puts mine to shame but whatever..lol her yard is ENCASED in stuff. NEW furniture..art..kitchen stuff..baby stuff..tables..etc..lol Im happy for her. Shes struggled so much also with miscarriage after miscarriage and they are on a much faster track to having a baby than we are so I wish them nothing but the best. Calling the surgeon Monday to schedule my get-this-evil-gallbladder-out-of-me procedure. kinda excited..sick of feeling sick... umm what else..OH! finished my SECOND semester! with a 3.6 thank you very much! I am honestly surprised at how well I am doing on this second degree thing. Bachelors #2 here i COME! Only because Ih ave such an amazing backbone and supporter in my husband who pushes me to the confidence I need..Again, as always, I am THE luckiest girl in the world. And i know it. So heres to a great sale tomorrow....a safe surgery soon..and general happiness all around. because the world needs all it can get..<3

It's independence day...

Today has been an ok day...:) I did some soul searching...some grocery shopping...bought a new Coach purse..AND the first game of the season for Alabama...yep..all good..<3 With the soul searching came the realization I have seemingly outgrown some people. Jim says I'm too nice...yea probably true...if I love you I'll go to th ends of the earth for you...there are people I have done things for that would amaze you...yet they forget that. Maybe it's human nature. I realize I spent half my college years making sure my friends didn't get drunk and kill themselves...bailed them out of jail for duis...called the cops when their boyfriends choked them...went to a bar at 2am in my Jammie's to physically carry people home..(more than once..many friends..).threw away drugs when they wanted to quit..missed final exams because a friend needed me because she had been dumped..stayed up,holding a friend until 5 then in class at 8 because his girlfriend dumped him..told boys that they were going to be a daddy...I've told lies for friends..to their moms..their boyfriends..girlfriends..I've pulled mean girls off my friends..pieced thrown phones together..washed vomit out of hair...picked up broken hearts..Broken glass...wiped tears at 3 in the morning..went searching around town for boy/girlfriends who never came ome..I've even told friends they were being cheated on..ima good person. I'd be my friend. But I realized today that Jim is right. I'm too nice. I never asked for ANYthing in return of all these things. I remember all these things...but they remember none. And that's unfortunate. Truly. So after said soul search, I see those who completely unappreciate me..see only one thing I haven't done and not the hundreds I have..those who change who they are depending on who they are surrounded by...yep. So I'm getting the scissors out. If you're not a positive influence and completely supportive or offer some sort of happiness to mylife, I'm done. Im31 years old..married..I've got bills..infertility issues..working on my second bachelors degree.car payment..boat payment..two beautiful furry mouths to feed.. I'm an adult. So children...childish..drama queens..snotty bitches..or anyone who brings anything less than happiness to my life? Peace out for I'm too old for high school bullshit. I think humans should soul search more often...may learn something about yourselves. This is my epiphany of today. Goodnight moon. :) oh and I thank God every single day for my amazing husband. I believe HE is what I was given for all the good I've done..for that, I'm a lucky girl..