Here we go again of our own....

So. Today has been the hardest. Today became the day I didn't think I could take anymore. This week started fantastic. I mean, my bloodwork came back good...we were told my One ovary was healthy and we wer cleared for surrogacy. We were ecstatic. Jim had to go in for his 'man work' yesterday as a formality... Then the phone rang this morning... My strapping, amazing, wonderful husbands semen analysis was not good. Like zero. I fell apart. The hits just keep coming. We had worried, gotten good news, gotten excited, now this. Welcome back, square one. Well played fate, well played... So again, Monday we go,back to the doctor. More bloodwork..urologist..hope and pray its a simple matter of a blockage. Hey that's easily fixable. Otherwise, we are out of options. Endof the road. And that... Scares the hell out of me... I can't remember the last time I cried like I have today. I asked Jim what we'd done to deserve this? Haven't we been through enough? I think so. Bad things happen to good people I guess. It's trying to make me bitter and I'm trying not to be. But it hurts. So much. And it's not fair. At all. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Goodnight.